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13 October 2006 2:07 PM

14/10/06

Time check : 1.16 p.m.

Mood: Very bad. Having a headache now....Later still need to go down for meeting..hiazz why am i so ill fated?

Well, after reading ma de blog, it's now my turn to get bu shuang. Why?

An OBS Quote: " The closer the man gets to the top, the more the man finds that there is no top."

I ask u...whats' the defination of an examination? A medium where you can compete to see who is the smartest or what? If u have this kind of metality, u are wrong. Do you think i cared so much about winning? If i cared so much about winning others, would i even bother to help u in ur chem and geo? (F.Y.I I told ur di about the site where i got my geo stuff.). Would i even have helped Mak (or Fiona)?(FYI Mak called me a number of times, each call lasting half an hour plus. But do i reject her whenever she called? I still patiently reply her qn even though it means that i have lesser time to revise) Would i even have attended np related stuff 1 week before the exam? ( F.Y.I I have a meeting on sat to dicuss about national hertiage trail).If i cared so much about winning others, i think i would already have broken down when i couldnt finish my geo and ss. If I cared so much about winning, I would have already go kpo about whose having the highest mark. Think about it.

To me, an examination is NOT a place to complete. I am not like Krystal pls, if u think that i am like her. She had a strong completing mentality.

To me, i feel that examination is the medium where u gauge how much u have learnt for the year. Think about it carefully. I dont break down when i didnt finish my ss paper. Why? Coz i know that i have done my best for my ss. Do i break down when i nearly flunked my emaths class test? Do i break down when mr ong scolded moi. Why? Coz i know that i have alreadi put in my best effort. There is no need to feel sad.

I am just upset that ma said me to kind of person. Cannot lose the kind of mentailty. My gd intention of pushing her to score for her next amaths paper had been wrongly intrepreted. Do u think that i mean whatever i said? I just wanna use ji jiang fa to push u further.Why? Coz i see in u. I believe that u can perform. I believe that u can do far better than u can do now. If u think, i am actually helping u another sense: I am helping to push ur average up (coz u seem to be worrying for some of ur paper). Do you think that i stand to benefit in this way. Nah. U must be thinking that i am psycho, crazy and even insane already.

Seriously i am also totally speechless when i read ur blog. Seriously, i feel like breaking down. I just know that my effort had been wasted. If u say that to me 3 yrs ago, i might have agreed. As time passed, and as i grow older, i feel that it is sometime useless to compete. (childish also). Why do u even need to compete? U will feel more tired...I am already mentally exhausted and i dont wanna u to take the same path as me. U are just affected what huiting said and u feel that u have alot of pressure. Why even need to think that krsytal scored 99 for amaths? If i are like what u say, i must be feeling moody and sad liao wat. I lost 20 plus marks (due to careless) in my a maths sa1 and just scored 55 nia. Then what about my recent amaths result? I scored 75 nia u know...To tell u the truth, i definately are not doing my best for my subjects in e recent ca and can to be said as a dip in form. But do i feel sad about it?Nope... I continue to do what i think is gd for me and did not let this affect me....

Disappoined and dejected....

(n Still having a headache...)


left;
2:07 PM